Thank you, Lord, for putting a minimum amount of trials on my way, for I am pretty good at digging trouble on my own. In that way, I can go back to square one after each fuck-up and remember that there is no such thing as a lesson learned. As I lead myself and learn to follow noone, even though sometimes it seems tempting, I see that the skills I have acquired in dodging piles of shit coming my way are indispensable, and that patience is just another word for waiting around for something to happen until in the end you die and nothing has happened. In that process of stubbornly keeping my middle finger up for everyone to see, and namely myself of course, I manage to unlearn every day the layers of pretense that society has tried to instill upon me since the day I was born. 

I thank you, Lord, with each trial I feel inside that noone can really help me but myself, and that expecting for other people or teachers or books to untangle my life just makes the knot tighter. Also, right and wrong are never set in stone, and if wrong makes me laugh and my hot blood boil, that automatically makes it a right. Cause you never promised anything, Lord, and every testing we put together is an adventure that I wouldn’t miss for the world with all the apocalypse aftermath it has on me. For escaping is impossible, because we can never escape ourselves, and it is the boring thing to do anyway.

I thank you, Lord, for the emptiness that victory brings, for victory means an end to one journey and I will do everything in my power to avoid the Nirvana. For surrender of everything makes life not worth living and I will never quit laughing. And I thank you, Lord, that nothing is ever in its place, for this makes my life a Lego playground where I am the Creator. The best part is that I will never be able to see Your face, for the laughter I always hear right behind the corner at any given second is Yours and I will never stop chasing you. And there is no place where You belong, and there is no place where I belong, for you have made me a just like you - all-powerful and free.